


Tears in moonlight

by Broken Masques (Oreias)



Category: The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Family, M/M, Protective Legolas, Tears, Thranduil Not Being An Asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 14:27:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3137699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oreias/pseuds/Broken%20Masques
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thranduil finally breaks down on the top of the ruins when the battle of the five armies as finally died down. He simply can not keep his mask anylonger. Legolas has just left to search for Strider, leaving his father behind...</p><p>Anngsty, lots of heartly pain :3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tears in moonlight

**Author's Note:**

> (I recommend listening to Grace of Undomiel (Arwen's song when she sees the vision of her son) to get the right feeling for this fic! Grace of Undomiel can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=616YMt6T5mA&spfreload=10  
> (right click and choose "open in new window or in new tag  
> or copy and paste the link in your browser and it will lead you right to it ^_^ )
> 
> This fic takes place at the end of "battle of the five armies" (Hobbit 3). The sequel between Thranduil and Legolas is added for feeling. (a slight mention of Tauriel as well). Just put it on repeat or something :)
> 
> I do not own lotr or hobbit, I simply love the characters and write about them! The characters belongs to J.R.R Tolkien, our true God in heaven, may he rest in peace! *heart*
> 
> Updated and betaread by Sabaku_no_gaara_ai //2015 okt 10//

(I recommend listening to Grace of Undomiel (Arwen's song when she sees the vision of her song) to get the right feeling for this fic! the youtube version can be found here: [Right click me!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=616YMt6T5mA&spfreload=10) and choose "open in new window" or "open in new tag" 

 

 

Thranduil ran up the stairs of the ruin, catching his breath as he went. He hurried along, glancing at the fallen elven bodies in his path, searching for one in particular. Panic and relief rose in his chest as he didn't find the one he was looking for; his son, where was he? Was he dead or alive? He was almost at the top now and he found both orc and dwarf as well as a few more elven bodies as he went, yet no sign of Legolas. He turned a corner when suddenly his son appeared before him. The king exhaled quietly in relief at the sight of his heir. Legolas met his eyes but he looked more hurt than anything even though he tried to hide it behind a cold mask like he had seen on his father so many times. Thranduil's own eyes, however, did not mirror Legolas' cold look this time but simply showed worry that his only child might have been hurt or killed.

 

“I...can not go back,” Legolas said, and began to walk past his father. Thranduil quickly asked where he would go just to stop him for a moment.

 

“I do not know.”

 

“Go to the North, find the Dúnedain. There is a young ranger amongst them; you should meet him. His father Arathorn was a good man, his son might grow to be a great one.” Thranduil said, emotions showing in his eyes he had not shown for years. Yet, Legolas returned his gaze with an expression that indicated he was shut down emotionally for the moment.

 

“What is his name?"

 

“In the wild he's known as Strider, his true name you must discover for yourself.”

 

His son looked up at him for a moment, then nodded. He turned back to the exit and started walking towards it to get down from the ruins he'd been fighting on.

 

“Legolas...”

 

He stopped, his back still turned to his father.

 

“Your mother loved you...More than anyone, more than life.”

 

Legolas stood still for a moment as he absorbed his father’s words. It felt like taking a breath he'd been holding for a while, just hearing them. He turned back and placed his right hand on his heart then gestured towards his father with an open palm, his father quickly returning the gesture, even though he had hoped for something more. The greeting of elves, 'My heart is your heart' was what he was given, a ‘thank you’ but no more or less as Legolas turned once again and walked out, leaving Thranduil  with unshed tears, alone in the ruins.

  
  


Thranduil closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, trying to subdue his emotions as well as collect his thoughts for a moment. It felt like he had just lost his son to the world he had tried to protect him from. At the same time he understood that Legolas needed to see the world for himself, no matter how much his father's heart ached for him to stay, but it didn't hurt less because of it. And it  did hurt; Thranduil's heart ached so badly for his son, that it felt as if his chest had been stabbed by an orc blade.

  
  


He swallowed and walked in the direction Legolas had come from and stumbled upon Tauriel sitting by the motionless body of the dwarf he heard had been named Kili. Thranduil tilted his head a little, just watching her and the tears she let fall for the dwarf. A while ago, she had stood in front of Thranduil with bow drawn and arrow aimed at him, telling him there was no love in him. There was, though, albeit hidden away deep inside. Thranduil had loved once, he had loved so deeply that his heart could never hold another. His heart had ached so that he wanted to end his life there and then when she fell in battle, but he could not. That would have left Legolas fatherless as well as motherless, and that he could not bear. Tauriel looked up at him while tears fell down her cheeks.

 

“They want to bury him...”

 

“Yes,” he said, still looking at her, watching her as if he had watched himself so many years ago. He was certain he had looked the same as her then, when Legolas' mother had fallen, and he swallowed, trying to keep his own feelings under control.

 

“If this is love, I do not want it...Take it from me, please!” she sobbed, and still the elven king of Mirkwood only saw himself mirrored in her actions. He stood frozen where he was, just staring at her with his own tears unshed, almost shocked at the extent of her feelings.

 

“Why does it hurt so much!?” She asked between sobs, holding the hand of Kili's corpse while doing so, returning her gaze to his motionless face.

 

“...Because it was real,” Thranduil said quietly. He understood now. Tauriel had truly fallen in love with this man, even though he was a dwarf and she was elven kin. It was very rare to fall in love with any but your own kind. She kissed the dwarf's already-cooling lips, no longer warmed by a beating heart. Tauriel looked up at him again, eyes begging him to end her suffering. He couldn't say a word, but he could at least give her a choice in the matter. She didn't have any weapons left, she must have lost them during the battle.

 

The king picked one of his daggers out of his belt and slowly walked up to her, kneeling down beside her, and placed the dagger by the hand she rested by Kili's body and then looked her in the eyes as the man he was, rather than as her king.

 

“I can not end it for you, but I will leave you with a choice I did not allow myself to make.” With that, he placed his right hand on her cheek for a moment to show her he understood her pain. She mumbled a thank you.

 

“No matter what you decide, go in peace and be free of heart.” He said quietly, then leaned forward and kissed her forehead before rising from the crouch and turning quietly to walk away from the ruins. With hurt in his heart and unshed tears in his eyes still, he followed the path away from where Legolas had left to venture in the opposite direction. It led him further up toward the top of the ruins. From a short distance away, Thranduil heard a soft cry of pain, a gasp, then a slight thud. He stopped in his tracks and placed his right hand on the stone wall, closing his eyes for a moment, but he did not look back. Instead he exhaled and clenched his jaws before forcing himself to continue to walk up to the top of the ruins while he fought to keep his tears from falling. Tauriel had done what he could not do so many years ago.

 

Once he reached the top, where the moon rested upon the stone floor of the ruin, Thranduil looked out at the battlefield and saw the extent of the war. He fell to his armored knees and pressed gauntleted hands to the ground. So much blood had been spilled during this war. So many elven lives had been lost, friends, people he thought of as family; guards, mothers, fathers. He had lost at least sixty percent of the entire Mirkwood population during this battle and even his son had been lost to the world outside the forest, although he at least was alive and apparently unharmed.

 

Thranduil bowed his head, closed his eyes and sobbed quietly to himself. Yet again his heart ached in agony and grief as it had done during the battle when he had lost his wife to death. Tears silently made their way down his cheeks, and here at the top of these ruins he was only a man, not a king, not a ruler of anything, just an elven man who was too tired to keep his composure any longer, allowing the walls around his heart to fall even if just for a moment. Another silent sob escaped his lips as he sat back on his knees and slowly reached for his crown. He took it off but held it in his hand, rather than laying it down. His hair flowed free in the soft breeze while the moon shone down coldly upon him. He shook his head, putting his free hand over his eyes, and simply couldn 't stop the tears of pain from falling while he thanked Illúvatar for allowing him to be alone at this time.

  
The memories of his wife came crashing down upon him. Her beauty, her eyes, her entire persona; he had loved her as deeply as anyone could love another. He remembered seeing her struck by an orc blade in the back, twice. She'd seen him on the battlefield, locked eyes with him when he saw her fall. Thranduil had come rushing towards her, killing the orc who had slain her, for all the good it did. He fell to his knees crying in panic and picked her up in his arms asking her not to give up. She had just smiled weakly, placing her blood stained hand on his cheek and told him she loved him and to take care of their son, then, her hand had fallen to her side as her spirit left her. The memory was as clear as deep lake ice. Legolas had only been a small child then, no more than a few years old and had just learned to walk. Tears fell freely while Thranduil's heart bled for all the sorrows of the world, but also from the anxieties he kept hidden from himself and the world around him, always maintaining a cold distance from it all. A gold ring rested on his left ring finger, crafted in the image of snakes swirling around the digit; the very wedding ring he had promised his heart to his wife with. He still wore her necklace. A six pointed flower with white gems on the petals, glimmering like the stars.

 

He'd kept it under his robes ever since the day he parted with her, it was the only token left from her except her memory. As tears streamed down his face and glimmered in the light of the moon, he felt like he couldn't breathe while the memories of her swept over him, and he gripped his armored chest in agony. His heart ached terribly for her, to feel her touch once more, to feel her silvery white hair between his fingers again, to inhale her scent, just to be able to look into her eyes one more time. The very same eyes Legolas had been blessed with. His crown fell to the ground with a light clang as he hid his face in both his hands, lowering his head in grief as if to shy away from the face of the moon as it watched him break down.

  
  


He was so caught up by the pain in his heart that he didn't hear the silent steps behind him even though his weeping, his agony and grief were suffered through with hardly a sound. Not until he felt a soft hand on the nape of his neck where the armor didn't reach, did he react with a slight surprised inhale. He did not dare to look up to see who it was, instead he turned his head away from them to avoid their gaze and clenched his jaws. He didn't want anyone to see him this way, weak, broken…

 

“Ada...?”

 

Legolas knelt down by his father, and pulled Thranduil towards him and into an embrace Thranduil clearly needed at the moment. He'd never seen him like this before, not that he could remember. Reluctantly his father allowed the embrace, and ended up with his forehead on his son's shoulder. Legolas had removed most of his own armor and he began to remove Thranduil's chest plate as well while still holding him. It was a bit tricky but it worked, albeit slowly. His father let him. The clasps on his left side he opened as well as the ones on his shoulders and Legolas pulled it off and placed it beside them, then he held his father close, refusing to let him go while allowing Thranduil to hide his face in his shoulder. He clearly didn't want to be seen this way even though it was Legolas witnessing it.

 

“Forgive me...” He whispered softly in his father's ear. Thranduil sobbed silently once more and finally wrapped his arms around his son.

 

“No... forgive me... I've been a terrible father to you, Legolas...”

 

“You did the best your heart would allow.”

 

With that, Thranduil hid his face even deeper, and once again broke into silent sobs, staining his son's shoulder with tears.

 

“I loved her so much, Legolas...my heart aches for her still, ” he whispered in a broken voice, his shoulders softly shaking with the force of his grief, and Legolas held him closer and rested his head against his father's.

 

“Will you tell me about her?” He said softly.

 

Thranduil was silent for a moment and Legolas heard quiet steps behind him. He wasn't sure his father heard them but he turned to see one of the Guards, Galion who was closest to Thranduil show up, clearly looking for his king. Legolas met eyes with him and just shook his head. Galion nodded and quietly backed down to allow them some space. The king had managed to collect his thoughts a bit, finding his words before he spoke.

 

“She...was beautiful in every way possible...” Thranduil said with a slight trembling voice, it hadn't not yet returned to normal as he slowly released himself from Legolas' embrace, looking down on the armor and the crown that lay beside it, avoiding his son’s eyes, and almost shying away so his son couldn’t quite see his face, as he tried to wipe some tears away.

 

“She had silvery white hair which flowed like long grass in the wind during a summer's day... Her laughter sounded like golden bells and she shone like the sun itself. She was so full of life, so warm and tender...you would have loved her...”

 

Thranduil glanced towards his son in the light of the full moon without fully turning to him. He gave a slight smile which faded almost as fast as it had come before he looked up at the moon again, new tears falling, glimmering in the moonlight.

 

“She was the only thing my heart desired...and then, you came as a blessing from Eru Ilúvatar himself...you were only a young child when she passed, so I'm not sure you remember her. We were attacked by orcs, and she died defending you and our home along with the rest of the army, to keep you safe. The orcs were too many and she was slain by one that attacked her from behind , that she didn't see in time.”

 

His eyes were closed, but tears still stained his long eyelashes and made their way down his cheeks although the sobbing had eased off a bit even though his heart still bled so deeply for her memory. Thranduil swallowed and leaned his hands on his legs, lowering his head, keeping his eyes closed at the memory of his wife.

 

“When she died...I lost myself, I lost everything and my world became dark and cold...I had nothing to live for, and yet; there was you...with her eyes, reminding me every day that a piece of her also lives on in you. I could not leave this world...because you were in it, I stayed for you, Legolas.”

 

“Ada...”

 

Legolas stepped forward so he came face to face with his father even though he still avoided eye contact for a moment longer. Thranduil did however glance up at his son from under lowered brows and saw that Legolas too, was shedding tears. He swallowed and looked into those clear blue eyes for a moment before his son yet again embraced him and put his face on his shoulder, holding him tightly. Thranduil returned the embrace and together they wept, their heart's pain making its way out through their eyes.

 

“I understand now that your grief was too near to speak of her when I was younger...”

 

“Legolas...” Thranduil released the hug and took the necklace out from under his tunic's collar and took it off his own neck, then placed it around Legolas' instead, fastening it behind him.

 

“...This belonged to your mother. Keep it as a token of her. I've kept it close ever since...that day.”

 

Legolas looked at the necklace and smiled a little before he again embraced his father. They remained in the embrace for a good while, until the moon had passed to touch the mountains. It was not until the tears had stopped completely and their hearts were relieved of most of their pain that Legolas put his father's crown back on his head. Thranduil took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, wiping the last traces of his tears from his cheeks. When he looked up again he met the face of the moon with his usual cold eyes, shutting his emotions down again. It was time to become the King of Mirkwood once more, and leave the elven man behind the title on top of the ruin, unaware of the guard who had been waiting below, guarding them so none would disturb the moment that father and son had found themselves in that they had indeed needed to mend the years of coldness.

 

Time to yet again bury the pain in his heart and keep it there. Thranduil inhaled deeply, focused his mind, and started to walk down the stairs as Legolas followed behind, carrying his father’s armored chest plate.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Do please comment on my works! It makes me want to keep writing and it keeps my spirit up as well as my muse poking my side until I let her on the keyboard ;D
> 
> Please do not translate any of my works to any other language!


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